A Prayer Without End

Dangling on the edge of our October laughs
my mermaid feet loom over the foolish Seine
delicately.

****

The summer breeze is encouraging.
Convincing. It nudges my body gently.
The way you did onceuponatime
under those warm starless skies.
While I felt the grass on my naked back
and all was quiet, but for us. Inebriated as we were
by Youth.
My mother’s voice called out to me from the distance
It rippled through the Arabian sea
and died before I paid heed to it. Be careful, she would say.
And under the moonlight i let you dismantle the fortress she had built around me
Is it no wonder then, that we are so broken now, the youandi of we?
i lie scattered around the city. An explosion.
every day i tumble upon a new fragment of myself
and pocket it safely, in the hope of being whole again.
on the rue de la Bucherie, on a rainy day in May
i found my insides on display. For everyone to see;
and then where we had laid down our private thoughts
One distant forgotten day
in a secret corner of the cimitiere du montparnasse
Known only to You and Me.

****

i collect myself among the heavy rose blossoms
dripping red yellow pink white fire sweat
in the June heat
they have floated away from you
to faraway lands. Beyond the mountain and the sea
to the burning urgent sunset of orange Granada
that smothers them to forgetfulness
only the memory of the bubbling
Seine. Calling out to me.
The cosmos cracked open
at the break of spring.
when we turned away, each to each.
and i confronted the sea.
Winter kept us warm, covering earth in forgetful snow
Oh such deceit! April is the cruellest month
the birthing month that mocks at our infertility.
And so what if i refuse to look the other way now?
And so what if i throw away sunny dreams?

****

and so what if i reject remembrance?
and so what if i am cruel?
and so what if i sacrifice my body,
at the altar of some urban Lethe?
The rain will come wash it away-
and autumn will bury it under her rubbish golden leaves-
and summer will plaster it neatly with dust.
and everything will be as before-
You without Me.